Watching Life

I cut my finger on the dulled and stained edge on the blade of my pocket knife. The blood runs quickly, bright red as gravity pulls it to the white sheet of paper that lies on the table, dark, almost black as it is absorbed into the carpet beneath my feet. Thickly flowing from my…

Today

Today the day THE day like any other, you suppose. It should be memorable it should be… You stand in line at the grocery store waiting. In front of you, a person whose card won’t work. The manager is called. Behind you, impatient people. Your car had ice on the windows. You scraped until your…

We Were Good, We Were Right

Music, jagged edges, shredding sleep. Visceral emotion, dredged up, thrown open like a fresh wound flesh wound. The dream, so real, slowly bleeding away replaced with morning light, and realization of the dream. Scratching, stretching, remembering. She’s still dead. In the dream I could touch her. Hold her. She sang. Her voice warm, and beautiful…

My Dog, Insomnia

A large orange moon hangs above the horizon, like nothing else does. At 1 o’clock in the morning I walk my dog, insomnia. Thoughts swirl, ebb and flow as if my mind is a great ocean and I on a small raft, float upon the surface at it’s discretion. My dog sees something behind us…

One Tear

When my wife died her last act upon this earth was to shed a tear. One lonely tear. Because you die alone you see, even in a room full of people. She took her last breath and a tear formed at the corner of her eye. It traced a damp path across her cheek to…

Rain

Searching for words, finding none, the sound of rain on leaves, a backdrop to memories old and dear. The window glass is splattered as a gentle breeze wafts through the trees. He stares through the window not seeing, not understanding her leaving. The sound of the door closing behind him and her image blurred through…

Madmen

Madmen, belly crawling, skin sheading, panting after desires madmen, rule. Sick, twisted, self-worshipping madmen rule. Rule countries, rule parties, rule lives. Back biting, back stabbing, hating, racist life sucking madmen rule. Hey Ho I got my finger on the button. Mess with me pal, and that’s it for you and your country. No more rights…

Silence

silence screams for attention. begs. pleads. cry’s. finally it slinks off to a corner and sulks, loudly. silence is not happy. silence has long boney fingers that wrap around your neck to cut off your words. and then you have nothing to say because silence is dark and the words that do escape are swallowed…

Surreal World

So here I am in the surreal world of cancer. My earlier post let you know that my wife has cancer. When she started having symptoms and we got the diagnosis, everything changed. And I mean everything. It is amazing how this happened. She started having breathing problems. Suddenly cold air makes her cough uncontrollably.…

The “C” Word

About a month ago my wife starting having some health problems. After many rounds of tests and biopsies we now know that my lovely wife Annie has cancer. The “C” word. It started in her uterus and has moved into her lungs. She will start on chemotherapy next week. This is devastating to us both…

The Uninvited Guest

She coughs. Five minutes, ten. Twenty minutes, an hour she coughs. The body knows, and rejects. She’s tired and sore. And she coughs. Cancer is like an uninvited dinner guest. Brought by an uncle, this guest gets drunk off your wine and won’t leave. He sits across the table with a sneer on his lips.…

Zen In The Driveway

There is a little puddle in the driveway from yesterday’s rain that now has a fringe of white lacy ice around it’s edges as if it is trying to close itself off from the frigid air above. And leaves roll across the ground with an old paper sound, blown by a wind that feels like…

A Thought For Today

Thoughts come sometimes, like a little dog yapping on the periphery of consciousness, nagging, needling. And sometimes like a handful of sand tossed into a mechanism of gears, grinding, insistent. There is darkness on the horizon brought on by madmen in laboratories mixing potions of control, of dominance. Dark towers rise in the distance as…

Angels And Demons

“Alright kids,” their grandfather said. “Gather ‘round. Time for a bedtime story.” The children came running and plopped themselves down at the old man’s feet. Grandpa’s stories were the best. “Not too long now,” their mom said. “It’s getting late.” “Aww mom,” the kids cried. Grandpa smiled at them and winked. They all smiled back.…