With all the news lately about our president and the GOP trying to divide the country by race, it has got me thinking about division. The conclusion I have come to is that we are in fact, a divided country, by choice. We are. The problem being, we don’t think about that very much. We think about the problems of racism, bigotry, homelessness, religious fundamentalism, and all the other things plaguing the U.S. today and many of us find it appalling, but are we not contributing to it ourselves? Do we in fact separate ourselves on purpose? I’m going to say we do, most of time unconsciously.
I am white. My ancestors were North and West European. French, German, Irish, Scottish, and a few others thrown in. Here’s how I have separated myself from others, not like me. Most of my friends are white. Most of my friends are straight, like me. Most of my personal friends are men, like me. None of my friends are homeless, or fundamentally religious, like me. Most of my friends are not big drinkers or partiers, like me. Most of my friends are liberals, like me. None of my friends are wealthy. The people that are my personal friends are mostly, like me. And most of my personal friends are also like me in these same ways. And their friends, and their friends are also mostly like them. We are a divided nation.
I have a few friends who are gay. I’ve had two or three friends who were black. I’ve never had a Native American friend. I’ve only casually known any Hispanic or Asian people. I don’t have any friends who are conservative politically. The fact is we gravitate to what is familiar, to what is comfortable. Because we like being comfortable. How many white people go to gatherings or party’s where most of the people are black? How many white people live in mostly black neighborhoods? How many of our friends are not born here? Most Muslim’s friends are Muslim. Most Christian’s friends are Christian. I could go on but I think you’ve got the picture.
We like being comfortable. We like the familiar. Not that we’re opposed to having friends who are different than us, we just don’t. We unconsciously separate ourselves into groups that are like ourselves. And I’m not picking on white people here. We all do it. The point I’m trying to make here is this: Do we in fact, contribute to the bigotry in our world by doing that? I don’t think I’m a bigot. I don’t hate or dislike people who are different than me, But I also don’t go out of my way to include a lot of people who are different than me. And I think a lot of people will find that they are like that too. So again, are we contributing to the bigotry that we see by being the way we are? Why don’t I have a lot of friends who are homeless? Why aren’t a bunch of my buddies heroin addicts? Why don’t I have a bunch of black friends? Why don’t I hang out with Muslims?
So when our president tries to separate us by race or religion or what ever else he tries, are we not already there? When he says that most of the immigrants coming through our Southern boarder are rapists and criminals, how many of them are close personal friends of mine so that I know he’s not telling the truth? This is why a lot of people fall for Trump’s rhetoric. Because they are separated from groups of people who are not like them enough that they don’t know that he’s full of shit. They don’t know that he’s using their ignorance of other people against them for political control. It wouldn’t take much to tip some people over the line from not thinking much about it to outright fear of others. A lot of people are already there.
I guess a solution would be to integrate our lives with the lives of people who are not like us. Get to know them better. The more you know, the less fear you have and fear is a great motivator. One thing our president is good at is manipulation. He knows exactly what you’re afraid of and how to use it against you. I don’t really know what kind of solutions will work best in trying to make a better world for us all but at least this gives you something to think about. If we can be honest with ourselves when we look at our lives deeper, we can find solutions.